god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
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