Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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