To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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