i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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