Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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