dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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