No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
