So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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