Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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