this beer tastes like vomit already
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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