If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
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