So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
