You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize