Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize