I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
