I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
