pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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