would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
