Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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