It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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