fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
