I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize