at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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