I could have mohawked her pubes.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize