dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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