I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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