OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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