I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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