Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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