I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sext me about skeletons
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
