is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
last night I used snow as a chaser
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
