We're facebook friends in real life
We named our party play list daddy issues
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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