yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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