"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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