ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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