Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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