You're completely useless in the revolution.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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