You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
