I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
