Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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