Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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