In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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