let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
