I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
