So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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