I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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