toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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