How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I wear drunk well.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
