I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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