she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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