also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
