i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
