Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
