I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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