sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
