I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Randomize
