You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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