his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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