Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
