Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
it's like iHOP with fire
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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