Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
