Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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