I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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