I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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