she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
