its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
