The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
