i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
