New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
