sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
