That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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