I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
